Due to their immense size (or old age?), I was afraid they'd grown coarse and bitter (like me!), but it was pretty good. 
I proclaimed that I was going to try to grow a bigger one next year in a special pot and baby it along! This riled Farmer Guy who said he was going to feed his a mixture of Old Milwaukee, Coca-Cola, and household Ammonia—apparently a home concoction of Miracle Grow (...or the makings of a meth lab?)
A topic of more Home Brews followed...Hungry Farmer Man told how he makes his own Schnapps out of Everclear; I agreed to donate persimmons and crabapples to Skinny Farmer Guy's 'homemade wine cause'... They all told their stories of drinkin' and youth and avoidin' the law...
(Not naming any names, I was called back up to the football game Friday by a 20 yr old kid-- uh, he was 'looking for my son for a ride home—he was getting an MIP'. Brig wasn't around, so I went up to the stadium for the 'rescue' but when I saw that there were 3 of them, I knew they wouldn't fit in my truck. These boys were all pretty good kids/non-drinkers in high school/currently 'testing the waters' and I think this was realized because I stood back a distance while they were bade to pour out their booze in the gravel... I told the officers that I didn't know there were 3 of them so I didn't have enough room and eventually a dad came and picked them all up...Where was Brig? Standing inside the stadium with some lovely pink roses for Paula...He picked a good night to watch his gal cheer! Whew.
The boys got off with a warning scare, but won't be so lucky again.)
So, back to the shenanigans of youth... The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly:
There is no Good.
Stitching a pocket on the inside of your cheerleading coat so you can sneak in a bottle of brandy to a dance.
Ditto Prom with a pocket on the inside of an ugly polyester dual-topstitched baby blue tux coat (with ruffled shirt)!
A nice boyfriend that scrubbed vomit out of the inner-pocket passenger door of his red Firebird Transam. Purple Passion.
Rolling a truck multiple times down a hill. Wild Turkey. Sheer luck=no major injuries.
Hitting a telephone pole the next week after sneaking out from being grounded due to the Wild Turkey incident. Jack Daniels+ Sheer luck= no major injuries.
Police Chief visits you at high school to confiscate your fake ID. When using it to by TJ Swan, the liquor store owner realizes it belonged to her niece. And you aren't the niece!
Losing second ID in Kansas City by signing your real name for the bouncer instead of the one on the ID. I didn't really want to get into a disco anyway. Rock and Roll!
Ditching school to drink vodka with friends and strangers and ending up in jail a few hours later labeled a runaway.
Etc.
The above is not recommended: I had a terribly shameful sophomore year and wouldn't advise
anyone to act as stupid as I did! That's why to this day I cannot stand the smell of wine or hard liquor. Now should I tell some of the Coffee Drinkers' stories.....? I better not!!!
Instead I'll sit here nibbling more turnip sticks. And stemming sweet crabapples for something to do.... while thanking my lucky stars that my kids turned out brighter than I did!
1 comment:
Very good post Bren too much to even comment on... Coarse and bitter? Pretty funny stuff, love "the list"
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